It is a thought that can keep any employee awake at night. You walk past a huddle in the office and the conversation stops. You notice you have been left off an important email chain. You get a strange feeling that the dynamics have changed, but no one will tell you why.
The question burns: What has my manager said about me? Have they labelled you "difficult" in an email to HR? Are they noting down "performance concerns" without telling you? Is there a secret paper trail painting a picture of you that you wouldn't recognize?
You do not have to rely on paranoia or office gossip. In the UK, the law gives you a specific right to find out exactly what has been said about you. Here is how to use a Subject Access Request to get the truth.
If you want to know more about submitting a Subject Access Request you can read our guide.
You can also submit a Subject Access Request in minutes using the CorpSpy webapp.
Why Do Employees Ask: "What Are They Saying About Me?"
Employees usually start searching for answers when trust breaks down. You might be asking:
- "What has my boss said about me in my annual review notes?"
- "What did HR say about me after that meeting last week?"
- "What are they saying about me behind my back in emails?"
- "Is my manager saying things about me that aren't true?"
These questions usually stem from a fear of being misrepresented. Fortunately, if words are being written about you on company systems, those words belong to a category of information you have a legal right to see.
The Legal Right: Getting the Proof
The tool you need is called a Subject Access Request (SAR) . Under data protection law (the UK GDPR), any opinion or fact recorded about you—whether in a formal document or a casual email—is considered your "personal data." Because it is your data, you have the right to a copy of it.
If your manager has said something about you in writing, you can request to see it. This includes:
- Emails where your name is mentioned.
- Private emails or Teams messages between colleagues discussing you (if they relate to you).
- Handwritten notes your manager took during a catch-up.
- Formal records like performance improvement plans or capability warnings.
How to Ask: "Send Me What My Manager Said About Me"
You do not need to be a lawyer to ask this question. You simply need to put your request in writing. To get the specific information you want, you should be direct.
You can send an email to your manager or HR department stating:
"I would like to request a copy of all information you hold about me. Specifically, I want to see any emails, notes, or records where my performance, conduct, or character is discussed."
However, to really target the "what are they saying" aspect, you can narrow the scope:
- "Please send me the notes from my last one-to-one meeting."
- "Please provide copies of any emails sent by [Manager's Name] regarding me since [Date]."
- "I want to see the specific feedback you have recorded about me in the HR system."
Tip: The more specific you are, the harder it is for an employer to claim your request is too broad.
What If They Are Saying Bad Things About Me?
This is the core fear. If your manager is saying negative things about you, you have a right to see them. However, you need to be prepared for what you might find.
If you discover that your manager has said things that are untrue or misleading, receiving the data via an SAR gives you the evidence you need to challenge it. You can then request that the inaccurate information be corrected or deleted.
Important Context: Finding out that your manager has expressed concerns does not necessarily mean you are being bullied or victimized. Managers are entitled to record their professional opinions. The SAR simply ensures those opinions are transparent.
Can They Hide What My Manager Said?
When you submit a request, the company must search for relevant documents. However, before they send them to you, they will review them. This is called redaction.
If you receive a document with black lines through it, you might worry they are hiding the bad stuff. Usually, they are hiding information about other people.
- Example: An email from your manager says, "I am concerned about John's productivity, and also, Sarah is looking for a new job." The bit about Sarah will be blacked out because it is her private information, not yours.
However, if they black out what your manager said specifically about you, they must have a valid legal reason (such as a confidential reference given to a third party). If you feel too much has been hidden, you can complain to the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office).
What Happens After I Ask?
You ask: "What has my manager said about me?"
The company must respond within one calendar month. They must provide you with a copy of the emails, the meeting notes, and the HR logs.
When you get that information, you will finally have the answer to your question. You will see the language they used, the tone they took, and the evidence (or lack of it) behind their opinions.
The Bottom Line
Wondering what has my manager said about you is a stressful experience. It creates a culture of suspicion that damages your wellbeing. While you cannot force people to tell you what they say verbally in private meetings, you can force transparency regarding the written record.
If you are brave enough to ask the question, make sure you use the legal tools available to get an honest answer.
If you want to know more about submitting a Subject Access Request you can read our guide.
You can also submit a Subject Access Request in minutes using the CorpSpy webapp.